Have You Ever Hired a Clushmaker?

When I was a youngster, many years ago, there was a popular campfire story known as The Clushmaker. The story is about an aspect of a strong internal control environment that is often lacking in a well established bureaucracy.

A young man entered a U.S. Army recruiting station. When asked his line of work, he answered that he was a Clushmaker. Not wanting to admit not knowing what a Clushmaker was, the Seargent who first greeted the applicant referred him to the Captain that supervised the station. As the story progressed, the young man was introduced to a long chain of ever more senior officers, none of whom was willing to admit not knowing what a Clushmaker was. Finally, the young man was introduced to a Five Star General who was not not in a position to refer this potential recruit to a more senior officer.

Naturally, the Five Star General was also unwilling to admit that he had never heard of a Clushmaker. But, he also didn't want to miss out on any benefit that a Clushmaker may provide his organization. So, he signed him up and ordered him to begin his clushmaking operation at once. The newly enlisted Clushmaker started by requisioning a long list of needed supplies and equipment as well as a detail of 50 men to make all needed preparations. Finally, when all was ready there was a tower erected that stood 500 feet above a pond that was 10 feet deep and 40 feet in diameter. At the top of the tower was a two ton ball that measured 10 feet in diameter. Connected to the giant ball was a cable that exended all the way down the tower to a large lever on a control panel at which the Clushmaker stood.

The General asked the Clushmaker if all was ready and the Clushmaker answered "yes."
Then the General directed that all available troups on the base where the preparations had been made be assembled around the 40 foot pond so that all of them would know the value of the Clushmaker who was recrutied into this unit.

Then, the General gave the order to "make clush." At which point the Clushmaker pulled on the lever, causing the ball to be dislodged from its resting place at top of the 500 foot tower and plumit down the 500 feet into the pond. The result was an overwelming clushing sound followed by water being splashed out of the pond in all directions thoroughly soaking all those who observed the event.

So, what does Stu on Patrol think of all this? That is an easy question. It was an absolute waste of whatever was paid to the Clushmaker, for the supplies, materials and work detail he requisitioned, and the time taken up by the numerous observers, including the ficticious Five Star General who authorized the project. The only lesson learned is that a great deal of time and expense could have been saved if the Seargent who initially greeted this young man of dubious talents had asked him what a Clushmaker did and what value it would have to the U.S. Army.

The more important question, directed to all those who read this story is, "Have you ever done or observed someone in your organization do anything that resembles hiring a Clushmaker?

Please write in to Are We in Control because Stu on Patrol wants to know.